Writing Prompt: A genie that doesn’t grant three wishes but rather, offers the user three chances to go back in time to a specific moment…
Time is a very funny issue. When you are young you naturally believe you have all the time in the world to accomplish anything and everything you want. And why wouldn’t you? After all, your relatives are the one who put the idea in your head in the first place “Oh, you have plenty of time before that!” “Oh, you have a long life ahead of you.” At some point, usually a specific age (it’s different for all of us) we wake up from a nice sleep and it finally dawns on us just how much time has passed. We have to accept that “tomorrows” we thought we had, are running out. Crunch time hits us. Without realizing it, a huge proportion of our lives are over.
I am in a particular place in my life. Just when I finally thought I had taken the car out of neutral, the damn thing stops moving…again. I am surrounded by friends and colleagues who seem to be in a constant state of having their shit together. While I am stuck over here at the side of the road with a car that won’t move! I am envious of others and their ability to simply move forward whereas I cannot. I am truly proud of everyone and the new/various chapters everyone is on. But I can’t help but wonder; when does my chapter change? Or rather, has it been changing but the damn plot-line is not going anywhere. So upon coming across the writing prompt listed above I thought it was a very interesting scenario. I don’t get a chance to change my future but rather, an opportunity to go back to a specific time in my life, I can either choose to relive it or change it. But even if I change it, who is to say that things will change for me?
So I mulled on the idea some more and decided the first moment I would like to go back and change is going back to my very first driver’s test. I would ace it the first time around. Most likely, I won’t get a car. But hopefully that summer before Junior year I could get a job, save up some cash and get myself a cheap used car. I envied my friends that all got their licenses before me, because their parents took time to properly teach them. Keep in mind, I am the product of a single parent home. Whereas everyone else had two parents, and usually one of them took the liberty to teach their child.
My second moment would be Senior year of college; applying for Graduate School. This time around I would call Boston University and obtain the correct address from them so I could send my paper work to the right building. I would also change a few of the places I applied to. And I would also apply back to my Undergrad school for Graduate School.
I couldn’t think of a third moment in my life I would want to go back to…But I wonder if it would be possible to travel to future and see my future biggest regret. IF I knew what that moment was; I would avoid it like the plague. It is nice to play “what if” but I know I have to accept the way things played out. I know there is that whole theory of “perhaps, it’s for the best.” But I would have liked to have seen what would have happened if things had worked out like they were suppose to…
It is that time where I need to start looking for another job; in terms of being more aggressive with my search. Working in a hospital; has taught more about compassion and understanding than any other field I have worked in. But, I feel as though it has raised my annoyance and anger at insurance technicalities. I don’t care for office politics. And I am at that point where…the question randomly came to mind “if they would agree to increase the pay, would I stay.” My answer is honestly, “no.” I am at that age where money cannot buy me time. And I rather spend either a good chunk of my life or the rest of my life doing something I am actually passionate about and interested in. I could say “It’s not about the money.” But I would be lying, a small part of it is about the money, however a huge part of it; being recognized for my time and effort and all the hard-work I put in job. I feel like I have worked my ass off without much to show for it in every job that I have done. I feel as though employers know when they have a worker that is hardworking with zero complications/ scandals etc. I feel as though they keep adding on tasks, but the money doesn’t increase. I feel as though I am not afforded the same relaxed attitude as my peers because I am part-time. Because I am just an “office assistant” who has the training of a secretary; and who has helped train the last three secretaries, but I don’t have anything to show for it. I spend a majority of my shift just shouting in my head “I hate it here…I’m not happy here. I want to do something else…I want to leave this place and never return.” I know for me it’s about being in a place for way too long. I understand my hesitation about leaving: The bills will not take a break, Unemployment sucks, I hate the application process of “oh, look at me I’m different from your other applicant!” or that damn question “why should we hire you?” I hate the reference requirement. I don’t like asking people to vouch for me. It’s like you don’t know me, you don’t know anything about the people I listed for recommendations but you’re going to call them and ask them to vouch for me and from there you will either take their word or you won’t. That whole process just flairs up my anxiety!
As much as I would simply love to just for once come into a large sum of money and take the easy way in life. I know those odds aren’t in my favor and I need to do the right thing and plan ahead. I’m thinking of continuing my search into a writing job, even if it’s only for a blog. Every little bit of experience helps! I’ll try to look into that this weekend. I’ll also look into doing more queries.