Hello, everyone and welcome back. Heads up, this post is not going to be a rant but rather an update.
I’ve been doing some thinking when it comes to my health and between the doctor appointments and bills. I have become exhausted. And i’m leaning towards stopping my treatments for my migraines/memory loss and going to the dentist. It’s been awhile since I got to enjoy a paycheck (I get paid once every two weeks and always schedule my appointments on my pay day.) after coming back from the doctors today I discover that I scheduled two appointments for the same day at the same time. for August 22. There is a part of me that wants to cancel both and just relax for awhile. There comes a point where you get tired of doctor appointments, same old questions, test results-especially when things come back negative. Pills-sure it helps with the migraines but now you’re having digestive issues on top of nausea and vomiting thus you’re losing weight etc. Same could be said about those pain pills the dentist superscribe after a filling . You get tired of feeling like a lab rat, you’re wallet gets exhausted. after all of that, can I honestly say I feel better? Besides there are no cure for the migraines, and I want to have a pay day where I treat myself to some food and it doesn’t hurt to chew. For the past week, I’ve been in pain, it feels like my intestine are cramping, with the occasional chest pain. But even stranger are my kneecaps. Specifically my right one, it’s in pain all the time. some times it gets so bad I can’t walk. As for the Left one, there’s pain with that one but not as bad as the right the only other difference is my toes go numb on that foot. I feel exhausted. physically, emotionally, spiritually as well. I was talking to my friend earlier and she suggested dating (she just will NOT let that go) I’m in too much pain to want to date. Why would a healthy person want to be with someone who’s clearly sick?
Despite, other people’s opinion about my medical needs. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing to just want to rest for awhile. I get what they’re saying. But at the same time they should understand; they are not the ones who have to do the testing, or have to take the pill or get the shot, or asked the same damn question over and over…I am. I’m allowed to be tired….exhausted. I’m allowed to take a break….