Hello everyone, and welcome back.
I trust you all had a wonderful week/weekend.My week has been a little odder than usual…
My mom is still on the war path about me dating, she says I’m wasting my good looks at home and need to go hang out with some male friends. and I’m like “I don’t have any guy friends up here” Her: That’s not my problem, why don’t you go look up that eye doctor at walmart...YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE!!! and lately she’s been barging into my room looking around as if she’s hoping to catch me with someone. and I was like yesterday “By chance, are you hoping to catch a man in my room, since I didn’t rebel in my teenage years you figure i’m trying to play catch up now?” Needless to say, she laughed it off, checked under my bed and closet, looked away and left my room. I was seriously contemplating hiring some cute random guy to “hide” in my room to prove a point. Then mom goes on some rant about how a guy should be man enough to introduce himself to her and ask for permission to date me. and I’m thinking: “what is this the 14th century.” (I think mom has been watching way too many Korean dramas. I personally cannot see bringing a guy home to meet my parents if the relationship is not serious) and to be frank why would I hide a guy in my room? (not to mention these walls are paper thin) if I had man I’d be over at his place not home [Naturally, i’m not going to let her in on that tidbit].
But here’s the real weird kicker, next my brother starts in on me, when it comes to my makeup…”I didn’t say it was horrible but it could be so much better” he keeps wanting me to go dramatic with my look. Where as I like being as close to au natural as possible, I don’t need my makeup to hide all my flaws but rather simply make them not as obvious. So I replied “why bother, it’s not like I have anyone to impress” He then does a head nod and replies “Yeah,…you really don’t!” (the shade he threw-I chose to let that one go. Because I really didn’t want to have to go there.) As if I was some hopeless creature in desperate need of help..I have a feeling he’s gonna make me look like a drag queen and not in a good way, he was actually going down his phone list of makeup artist and drag queens he could call to “fix” me . So I talked to my bff and she’s like ” Why do they keep doing this to you? Pretty soon they are just going to marry you off to someone. And your brother is going to tie you to a chair and do your make-up, Why can’t they just accept you for you?!” Meanwhile, all I could think of was that TLC lyric ” I wish I could tie you up in my shoes and make you feel un-pretty too” I’ve wear makeup, i’ve gone outside and I seem to attract men just fine. I look myself in the mirror and I think “i’m cute” maybe it’s all in my head, maybe I am an UGLY duckling and everyone is just hiding it from me. To which the bff replied “nan…if you were I’d tell you to your face. Besides for most men today, the whole dating scene is really just about instant gratification.” I figured as much, it’s not that hard to find a guy that is interested in my looks/body, what’s hard to find is someone interested in my mind, my personality, my humor. Perhaps its to much to ask for a connection that isn’t shallow.. Either way, why is when people see that you are happy just the way you are and with how your life is at the moment, they feel the need to “find deficiencies in your life”? it’s like “Yeah, you seem happy and content, but you could be soooo much happier if you had X Y and Z in your life, completely ignoring the fact that you never asked for anyone’s opinion. Then some more odd things happened, I opened up my fortune cookie and it’s like “Love Begets Love” and i’m just like “what hell does that mean?” So I go and look it up and ” What this quote really means is that in order to be loved, you must be willing to love. It’s similar to “love is a two-way street”; you can’t expect to be loved if you won’t love that person in return.” and i’m like “okay….not sure why this is my fortune…unless, it’s talking about me being somewhat jaded when it comes to that subject but then again, I’ve openly admitted to that, so i’m not sure why that’s either here nor there. So I checked out my weekly horoscope and it’s like “Tuesday (my birthday), is a great day for me, Venus is in your house of romance, LOVE IS IN THE AIR, do you hear that Recie, you have a high possibility of meeting your soul mate but you HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE!!” and i’m just looking at the screen like “Is this suppose to be some weird cosmic joke, what, is cupid waiting around some coroner with a arrow waiting and ready to shoot me?” I’ll go outside that day because there is some stuff I need to pick up for my birthday (I want to make blue cheese-cheddar-bacon burgers with onion rings and a nice tall glass of Cherry Coke or maybe Dr.Pepper i’m undecided right now) I really wasn’t trying to go outside and fall for anyone. However, I suppose I can keep an open mind.