Story Time: *gives you an innocent grin*. So on my way to speedway in front of Walmart, I passed by a cop, who happened to notice my inspection sticker wasn’t blue. I pull into the gas station near a pump, I get out the car and I notice that same cop drives around my car looking suspicious. He pulls up around me just as I’m about to insert my speedway card into the machine he pulls up behind. Now its a staring contest between me and the cop (as I wonder, is he gonna shoot me for being outside of the car, technically he can’t give me a ticket if I’m outside of the car…what’s the procedure for being pulled over when the car is already pulled over…) Upon noticing I am still standing, the cop flips on his lights. I take that as my clue to get in the car shut the door, roll the window down hands on the wheel. So I get in, turn the car on so I can roll the windows down, then shut it off and wait. Now the cop comes out of his car and tells me why he pulled me over. I tell him the car belongs to my mom (she was supposed to take it to get inspected today but changed her mom her mind this morning) so I give him my license and registration he goes to run it …15 minutes (I know he’s checking to see if I have a record I’ve been pulled over before I know it doesn’t take 15 minutes. Everything comes back clean, he said its nothing personal its a safety issue he said he gave me a month extension (on the paper says 1/26/17 @5:30 at the latest), hands me back my stuff and leaves. So mom tells bro, he goes on his tirade, all I said was write down the window shield blade size and where I get it, text it to me, Next Thursday after work, I’ll get the blade and car inspected. Him: I’m telling you now WHAT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER SUCH A SIMPLE TASK!?” ME: no dumbass I can’t, what part of memory issues do we not comprehend, there days I barely remember how to spell my name and you want me to remember these places and blade sizes, not happening; just text it to me! Him: go F yourself, now you’re on your own! He continue to make fun of my memory issue, while mom is like “stop it you two.” And stood there silently as he continue to insult me while complaining about paying for everything but nothing gets done in this house. Really Walmart would?, mom kept talking about auto zone, that and I don’t know how to change a blade, hopefully YouTube will be helpful.
*Enters the room waving*
Hello everyone! And welcome back once again. How ya been? Hopefully good.
[Quick Toast: Happy NYE everyone! *raises a glass* May your 2017 be a hell of a lot better than 2016. Gotta admit for me personally, I am so done with this year and I’m glad it’s coming to an end. If you had a great 2016 more power to you and I hope the blessing keep pouring in for 2017. If you had a crappy 2016…like moi. May you finally get the break you really do deserve and I hope nothing but positive energy and luck comes your way. So once again, let’s all raise our glasses to a bright…happy…2017! To new beginnings…to ending one chapter and starting a new one. Or if you’re fed up with the book that you are reading/writing/in: to ditching an old book and starting a new one. Happy New Years everyone!]
I know it’s been a hot minute since we last chatted so lets do a quick recap.
Met the nurse practitioner, who looked over my medicine that the doctors had me on and she’s like “why do they have you on this, for the type of migraines you have-these actually trigger more migraines. You not being able to keep food or the medicines down really limits us to what we can do. Well, I do have another patient who suffers from Hemiplegic Migraines he prefers this type of cocktail of drugs would you like to give it a try?”First day I tried the new meds, felt so much better at the doctors my migraine pain was like 7.5 after taking the meds 2 hours later the pain level was one. The next day I was completely fine, for once I actually had energy and I was over sensitive to anything sounds, smells lights. Also I wasn’t nauseous! Although, I did randomly vomit at some point in the day; that was weird to do projectile vomit with no warning, but I still felt great, I actually went well enough to the point where I wanted to go out and talk to random strangers and ask them how they were, but the horrible weather outside was like . Then the day after the migraines came back…Long story short the medicine isn’t working anymore. I feel like my migraines are getting stronger and i might be building up a tolerance to my medicine, even my anti-nausea medicine that i use to help keep my medicine down isn’t working I’m popping at least 3 of those pills, when at the beginning with one pill I would be fine for the whole day.
Still need to see an optometrist for my eyes I’ve been getting shadows and double visions and I think i need to see a G.I. to find out why am I not keeping food down. at the doctors office it said I weigh 115LB but I was wearing my steel toe boots and layers that day. I placed my hands on my hip today at work-and the first thought that came to mind was “wait did I loose more weight since Saturday?!” Maybe I should start doing weights I feel like my arm strength isn’t as good as it use to be….It sucks watching myself deteriorate especially, when people start complaining around me about how they need to “lose” weight. While i’m over here thinking “You don’t know how lucky you have it; you get to eat a plate of food you don’t have to worry about hurling it back up. Or,Hungry yet nauseous all the time.” *side note at my job in order to keep your insurance premiums low you have to do a health evaluation and make healthy choices that you enter into a computer. But due to my health…I gotta be real, I feel like shit 98% of the time i’m in pain all the time I don’t want to exercise and last thing I need to do is lose and more fucking weight if anything I need to be on the anti-diet!On another note, due to 2016 being a horrible, crappy year. I was a total Miss Anti-Holiday. I didn’t feel as though my family members deserved gifts, so after years of them saying “This holiday sucks” (especially, when they got hundreds of dollars worth of stuff and I only got $20 for myself) or “Oh great, now I have to get you something too!” (Even though, I told them “no you don’t, you are not obligated to return the favor, which they never did.”) *That and I had to pay for my crown (I’m done with the dentist, they wanted to do a few more fillings but i’m like “I’m done”.) so due to a lack of funds, I used my money for food (we had agreed prior that for Christmas dinner it would simple Soups and Sandwiches) no one help me pay for it, I made enough to last a few days I felt like bro ate more than his fair share (I would come home with a pounding migraine, he’s literally here ALL DAY LONG with a fridge full of food, but he won’t eat that. Nope, hates to cook his own but LOVES my sandwiches)
. The family decided on 7 days of seafood tradition (I hate that tradition-and wanted no partake in it so the sandwiches were supposed to cover me for those days -mom and bro ate my food.) later on that day, when asked where are the presents told them there were none.
NYE, due to a lack of funds, and hardly any food in the house. I saw no need to celebrate. I didn’t even watch the ball drop. All I could think was the past couple of years have not been kind to me. Why celebrate 2017, if this (looks around the room) is how it’s gonna be. When I woke up, I heard Mariah Carey had given a horrible performance in NYC.
January 2017- (excerpt from a convo with a friend)
guess what happened to me this morning? so I told you about the lack of gas yesterday right, mom said she would ask bro for some cash. So this morning I asked her if she was able to get the cash since both cars were on empty (i put what was left of extra gas we had in the garage in car it was enough to get me to work and half way home) So i wake her up and she asks me yet again “You don’t have any money?”She literally asked me that ten hours ago. to which my reply was still “no” so she hands me her card. I go to cumberland farms try to use the card but it wanted the pin. So I took two guesses and failed. finally called mom, of course she doesn’t answer her phone. And i’m thinking “oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” So I drive to work with my eye on gas tank hoping the car doesn’t die in the middle of street. I make it work and send mom a text about the needing the pin from the parking lot. Now it’s time to leave work before I do i check my phone I got the pin, so I go to the Sunoco on Nott Street this station (I don’t need the pin) at this point i’ve had a migraine since 8 AM and now it’s very strong, I come across a woman who looks like a character out of a harry potter movie (the tea lady) if you’ve seen it. And there is this big angry looking Asian man pacing in front of station. The lady asked me if I was busy (I think she needed help) I told her I Was b/c my migraine was getting really strong ( I was at that point where i’m like I need this gas to pump faster before my migraine gets too strong and I won’t be able to drive) I get the gas and would you believe I drove off with the gas door and hup cap hanging at the side. turned on to one street that was very narrow don’t know where i was or if it was a one way to fix the hup cap. Surprisingly the hup cap incident didn’t shock me too much b/c of the location of my migraine -I know when I get it there my short term memory is f*cked and I tend to make more mistakes and forget things. I pulled into someone’s space or perhaps it was there home drive way….I did a three point turn and made it home safely. There is literally enough gas to get me there,back and there again which is fine since payday is Thursday providing bro does not take the car As for today, my watched died, forgot to put the new stickers on the car, went the wrong way to work (technically it’s the correct way but it takes longer, thus I used up more gas than I wanted too) at that point in drive I started verbally expressing myself and how I feel that my guardian angel hasn’t been doing her job for past few years, and I want to upgrade to someone else. Needless to say upon saying that about two minutes later, my watch came back to life. To which I replied “oh, you fixing this does NOT negate everything else that has gone wrong!”
BTW: took an astrological quick 2017 astrological chart reading on several sites. First site said “this was not my year”. Other site said “your job will become obsolete and you’ll get let go in the second half of the year.” And the third site is like “holy crap you’ve been hit with a lot of bad luck these few years which is odd because your chart indicate your life shouldn’t be this hard good news is its a transition year that means you’re in for some big changes but you’re gonna get hit with one more horrible thing.before it gets better.’. Me : seriously. The reading I got in 2016 says accident, near death but I survive -I’ll be injured but I will get over it and move to brighter days I’m just like “I’m not looking forward to that hospital bill!” But I don’t mind the food but on the off chance the food has gone down hill since 06 I hope someone sneaks me in good seasoning Lol I can imagine the look on the nurses face when she strolls in to check my vitals “what are you doing!?” Me: making the food tasty, its missing fat and butter I am not down with this healthy crap! and no; I will neither give you my butter or my spices we are in a recession!
Well, that about covers it, hope everyone else has been having a much better time than me.
Hello everyone and welcome back once again.
Okay, let’s get to it. Today started off with me having mixed emotions. It’s that “yay, it’s pay day but oh, no. I got a lot of bills to pay.” It didn’t help that yesterday bro was trying to hit me up hard for cash for the cable bill. Which is understandable except I received a letter from my old college saying I have an outstanding balance of $124 (still not sure where that came from if I have been paying on the account- I would assume that would have popped up sooner). And there is my phone bill which AT&T decided to go up 6 dollars from 72 to 78. But I don’t feel like I’ve gained anything. Halloween is Monday, and I really wanted to celebrate by having themed food. But bro had to walk into the kitchen and totally wreck my happy mood as I am making some thing ahead of time.
. Like my brother saying he doesn’t have money. Yet, almost every day if not every other day he is literally going out to restaurants/fast food buying food. Him and the girlfriend she likes healthy food no additives, he doesn’t care for it, they end up throwing out all that food in the end.She only likes food that’s either baked or boiled. I don’t understand why they both can’t shop for their own food and cook their own food. I don’t understand why there is more food in their house, yet, he feels the need to come down here and take my food. I don’t care if my cooking is better than hers; we hardly have anything down here. It’s not right. I don’t understand why he is so pressed about my phone bill. I like my independence that we are not on the same plan, that and I am not sharing my data with anyone. If you’ve been following my posts for awhile then you will recall about a year ago we were thinking of doing a plan together my mom and brother couldn’t make up their mind, and I frankly got tired of waiting. And I went solo and stuck with AT&T since I had no problem with them in the past. And that is where I am today. I don’t get why he is all up in my cool-aid wondering what i’m doing, and how I could be saving a few bucks. My issue is, even though i would save a few bucks I’d be on a plan with him, meaning I’d have him all up in my business and he is not not worth the cost of saving! I am watching him and clearly his life is going a hell of a lot better than mine. So I don’t understand why he is under this weird delusion that I got my shit together and i’m doing better than he is. Physically, my health sucks, my finances are nowhere nears his; he is bringing in around a grand a month, Mentally and emotionally i’m wreck and trying to stay positive.
Just because I don’t complain every single day, or get all up in my feelings every 5 minutes doesn’t doesn’t mean the grass is greener on my side. I don’t care what’s going on in his life, or anyone else’, i’m just trying to get my stuff together one day at a time. Surprisingly, my horoscope has been saying “Don’t even worry about anyone else , or their opinion, just worry about you, your self-care. Take care of you first.” And that’s what I’m doing.
Hello everyone, long time no see. I trust you are all doing well.
Okay so here is the deal with me, my friend Rach is having a wedding, and it’s this September 25 (Thursday). [I know she originally had it for the 28th which is a sunday which would have been more convenient for everyone she had been talking about the 28th for a good year but like 3 months before changes the date.] As we all know i’m still the struggling young sales associate who works for a store at a job that she hates barely making it by. I’ve already sent her gift, but its time for me to get my shit together to actually get to the wedding. Lets be real, she’s getting married up in the country side, the venue is like 3 hours away from my house . Here are my issues:
- Haven’t booked a hotel room yet . In her invites she did list two hotels that people could try to get a room in “Hurry b/c they are going to go fast =D) i’m looking at these hotel rooms and they are like $124+ a pop! ~ in my mind i’m thinking “Hell to the f*cking no!” My internal common sense is like “in all honesty, how close am I really to Rach for me to be blowing this type of money when I know I got bills to pay. So i’m thinking okay let me see if I can find a motel 8. So i’m looking for the motel 8. and I notice the nearest one is like 20 miles away in different city. Mind you; I have never been this far north by myself, and the last thing I want to do is get lost and then by the time I get found again the wedding is already over, I used up most of my gas money, i’m hungry, tired and pissed.
- Speaking of gas money, I still have no car and I don’t feel right about taking my mom’s ride. So I was planning on renting a car which the car would have been around $107 dollars or $133 with accident insurance. I figure I could pick up the car Wednesday afternoon and return Friday around noonish. I figured I would leave for the wedding Thursday at 6am. that should give me plenty of time to find where I need to be (the wedding starts at 2pm)
- Gas money i’m thinking $300 should be fine. Still have to factor in tolls.
This wedding is costing a lot of money. I’m all for Rach finding her happily ever after I just think there are certain things she should have been more mindful of. One, when it comes to the wedding venue, pick a location that is good for both parties, not just in terms of scenery but in terms of hotel accommodations, she really could have had venue where there are not as many expensive hotels. I still do not know what the food options are at the wedding she never said anything. I think it’s going to a pot luck reception. Even the stuff she was asking for, for her bridal shower was a bit pricey. For example, I have an old college roommate who i still consider to be a best friend now if this were “her” wedding I wouldn’t not mind blowing this kind of dough on her. That and I know I would not have to worry about a hotel b/c most likely i would be in her wedding and she would let me crash at her house. I know the same amount of money I would put into her she would do the same for me. But Rach is a different story, We were friends since Middle school, Definitely after High School, our relationship became more of a virtual kind, we maybe see each other once a year in person and hang out for a few hours, however, 98% of the time the only reason we know about each other lives is b/c of Facebook status’s and we occasionally talk on the messenger. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like the only reason we are “friends” now simply because of the past.
I want to hear from you, the reader. Do you think I should go to the wedding?
In other news, my computer went on the fritz so I used my cell phone as a hotspot. needless to say i used up all my data for the month I can’t use my phone until Saturday. With that being said This September I have to put my cell phone in my name so that’s another expensive. Slowly i’m crawling out of the whole of debt yet at the same time i’m crawling back in.
*For some odd reason my gifs haven’t been working lately…*
Seriously, it would be nice to not be in debt anymore. I just did a calculation and i’m paying almost half a grand each month, but i’m not making that much money. gotta talk to one of the loans tomorrow and see if I can reduce the payment. It wasn’t so much a big deal when it first came out but as the other ones kicked in, and me and my heart problems last may which lead to hospital bills and that threw me off it just spiral out of control.
Speaking of which I was looking up some Aladdin books and I came across one, I forgot the name of it but the premise is, for those of use who make “selfish” wishes the Genie would make your life miserable ~ mind you it’s 2014 I don’t know how much more miserable a Genie could make any of us…However every millennium a person comes along and uses their wishes to help others versus themselves and like defeats the Genie. Now this may just be me, but how to do you justify what’s selfish and what isn’t. Now there are many of us that if given the chance, will use one of their wishes to increase their fortune. For example me, I would wish for money I feel as though 150-200 million is more than enough money for me to live comfortably for the rest of my life. Here is what I would do with it
1.pay of all my debt. 2.pay off my families debt that way we could start fresh with a clean slate. Seriously who would not like to have peace of mind when it comes to their fiances. 3.) take half of my fortune and split it again between my mom and my brother. 4. Donate at least 3 million dollars to charity such as The American Red Heart Association. St. Jude etc. I would save about 2 million for myself to do with as I please and the rest I would put away in a trust fund for myself that I can’t touch until 30-31. I figure if i have too much money lying around me i’ll be in too much of a hurry to spend it all and I want it to last for awhile.Even if i had money I would still plan on getting a job b/c I like earning my own money. I would definitely want to travel the world and meet new people.
2. wish would be for intelligence, i’m talking about the type of intelligence that is needed for bio-engineering , I would love to be able to come up with interesting things that could help people. For example I would love to be able to create a pill that help those who are allergic to things not be allergic to them for 24 hours. Imagine it, you take this pill and for 24 hours anything that you are allergic too will not bother you, it would be an awesome invention for those of us who are highly allergic to peanuts, cinnamon, garlic, especially if one is in a area where these ingredients are commonly use. Imagine if you could go back to the time in your life when you could eat the things you are allergic too now without it bothering you. Mind you this pill would not be a replacement for an epi=pen.
3. wish would be the hardest, what honestly could I wish for…and we all know that with Genies you have to be very specific other wise they will mess up your wish. I guess i would wish for the economy to just get better all around the world ( and by better i mean where unemployment around the world is at an all time low. And two big main companies aren’t fast food and retail, but literally there would jobs everywhere and if you didn’t have the training now a problem at least more than half the jobs would offer paid training.), for the job market to really increase, minimum wage to go up where it is possible for a person live off it, for the hope in each American and person around the world to come back, that things will get better that you do not have to spend your whole entire life struggling, and wondering if you are going to have a next meal, a point where no country will feel the need to use outsourcing as much. Maybe i’m naive in thinking this, but perhaps if the economy was great in each country maybe there would be less war… Naturally there are other things that factor into what creates war, religion, politics, money, economy, greed by those in power, oppressing the people etc