Hello everyone and welcome back,
Hopefully you all read the first part of the story, now here is part two, yesterday I received a letter from the courthouse tell me, that they accept my guilty plead (mom told me to plead guilty) they charged me $140 and they want me to in to them before February 19,2017. The fine is $47, the surcharge is $93. And the mentioned a service fee of 2.99% will be assessed on all credit card payments. If I choose to pay in cash i must bring exact change. If they don’t get the money by the 18th my license will be suspended and I’ll be charged $70. Why does everything in New York State have to come with a threat. Remember my old posts from when I was on unemployment and those letters I used to receive that came with threats about cutting me if I don’t show up to my meetings (even though I always showed up?) Mom wants us to go together to the courthouse see if we can get the fine lower- I don’t see the odds working in our favors. I wish the ticket had came with the fine on it. In addition I wish the cop hadn’t lied. He said it wasn’t a ticket. -The top of the paper said “it’s a ticket”, it said he give me a month extension, but the date on the ticket said “January 26,2017 5:30 pm”.
[Side note: I hate when I pay for something on my debit, and their is a pending and it doesn’t get pulled out in time. It backs everything up. that’s what happened with my student loan. I schedule a payment to come out in December for January, it didn’t come, so I checked online could not find records for it come out. So I’m thinking perhaps I had another memory lapse. so I did another payment for a different amount (lesser) would you believe, the original amount I schedule back in December decided to take it out a day later. needless to say I’m over draft now, and I’m thinking about the overdraft fees that will accumulate between now and the 2th (when I get pay-but I already scheduled money to be taken out for other bills!) and I’m worried I won’t be able to afford that Court Fine.]
As I mentioned before in “Fairy Tales Aren’t Real” Life has a way of throwing curve balls. I feel like my life is in overdrive I feel like it’s curve ball after curve ball…punch after punch. It’s like seriously, when is shit suppose to get better? I understand everyone must suffer a little to truly appreciate life and all that it has to offer. A little humbleness doesn’t harm anyone. I feel like too much suffering does more harm than good. It’s like “yeah, we made it to this point; but at what cost?” I am not the same person I was five years ago. That beautiful authentic spark that was once in my eyes is long gone( it’s sad looking myself in the mirror my eyes look dull, its like no one is home). I’m fresh out of hope, I have lost my desire to honestly want to try. My heart is filled with bitterness and I am totally jaded towards the world. My soul is weary and filled with such sadness. A few weeks back, I did an astrological chart, and its said something along the lines “whoa you been through a lot of crap these past few years! With Your type of your chart, you should not have had as much bad luck as you’ve been having. But good news you’re in a transitioning year which means you can turn it all around!” That made me tear up, even if those things may be total BS for a brief moment in time, it was nice to hear someone say someone say I didn’t deserve half the crap I went through.
I’m not even touching on my depression (that no one besides my Rafe-my British pen pal knows about and you my readers know about it) or my Migraines that’s getting stronger-speaking of which after a littler over a month of waiting finally got authorization to get a MRI, I’m schedule to get on on the 26, hopefully this time it’ll show something wrong with me. I know that’s a horrible thing to say. But nothing sucks more, than knowing something is clearly wrong with you, and doctor performs a test and the results come back negatives and doctor basically drops the issue but you still have the symptoms. It’s like just because that machine says it can’t find anything doesn’t mean the pain doesn’t exist!
My apologies to those hoping for a more humorous post.