You know what I like about “fairy tales”, I like that they have happy endings. Which is the exact opposite real life. I like seeing the hero start from the bottom with nothing to his name; but a hope and dream that things will get better. That their time will improve, and most importantly, everyone will know their name. It’s not just a faith based system that everything will turn out aright, there’s help, other characters stepping in to help the hero along his way. Until eventually, they get their happy ending.
I wonder why real life can’t be that way. I have had a few moments; in my life where it truly felt like I had met my guardian angel, like that tiny Asian woman who was dressed similarly to me who said “You know , you’re too good for this place, you really don’t belong here.” (that happened back when I use to work retail and we all know how much I hated it there), or recently the lady in Walmart who was before me in the line who said to the cashier “eh, don’t worry about it, I use to be hard ass, but once I got on benefits, I realize my life before; I stressed over nothing. Now I’m at that point where I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore.”
I wish I could say, I lived a life I am honestly proud of and don’t mind boasting about. But that’s not my reality. I had to give up a lot over these past couple of years, my sense of security, and my inner child who was filled with a zest for life. I couldn’t let her face the harshness of the real world. So I locked that part of myself in the far corners of my brain. I’d like to think that I would let her out some day, but with the way things are, and have been going…I doubt that will happen.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, when you realize fairy tales aren’t real. I always knew that, but it never really sunk in, how true that is. I could never figure out why some people would rather spend their time being high, or drunk. I use to think “what is so wrong with reality that you have to be under the influence to simply deal with the day to day?” But now I understand, it’s because the fairy tales aren’t real. The lie we were all fed “if you try really hard, if you wish on that star and if you’re kind to others, things will work out for you.” Is not true, mom and dad didn’t tell us about all the red tape, and daily bullshit one must endure and go through just a to get a few steps ahead, or trying to dodge the bad luck/bad timing that will fall upon you, and wreck all of your plans. Life happens; curveball after curveball, punch for punch, and the thing is… you never see it coming. There are no crystal balls-to give you a heads up to prepare yourself. There is no nice fairy godmother, who is going to pop up out of nowhere and give you the opportunity of a life time (where everything is going to be on your side all you have to do is show up!), there is no Jimmity Cricket, to help you with the dilemmas that life will through at you. No magic carpet to whisk you away, when life becomes a bit too much for you. There is no magic genie to grant your deepest wishes, even if it’s something as simple as “having the exact amount to pay off any and all your debts-no more, no less”
All you have is yourself, sometimes it’s enough, other time it isn’t. It’s just you navigating yourself through this messed up journey called life. I like to think there are little signs that pop up every once in a while to let you know “you’re on the right track”, but more often than not, you have to trust your intuition, or in most cases simply go with the flow. There only one thing I can honestly say about my life, I don’t regret any of the choices I made, every choice I made, was based off the information that I had at that time. And it was the appropriate choice to make at that time.
Not gonna lie, it would have been awesome if my life was like a fairy tale, with random dance numbers and music, and it would have been nice to have a fairy godmother whose like “Okay, you have racked up some serious good karma point, what do you say, let’s cash it in!” Obviously, she can’t fixed my problem, but if she could put me in a situation that could solve my problems (right place and time, all I have to do is make happen-and I only have one shot, sink or swim.) it would awesome!
For some, reality is just amazing, and there’s no need to contemplate a fairy tales, why would they need to, when their life is that of an epic novel. I like to think things well get better, just like I hope that it will. I have accepted that reality more often than not; sucks. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a part of me that still believes in magic. and that one day, out of the blue; no warning, the pieces are going to fall into place as if magic had something to do with it.
That and if, I should come across a magic lamp, I most likely am going to rub it.