Pick your poison,…. name your song,…. find your inner peace. Truth be told, we are special in our own individual ways. We are all fighting our own internal battle. And we all have different ways of coping with reality. For some, its dealing with it head on, for others…it’s denial and for some, it’s procrastination. It’s not that some don’t like to deal with their problems, there are multiple reason why someone may not want to deal with a situation. Perhaps it’s not high on the priority list. Or perhaps, its fear-that, that little voice in your head that seems to take the tiniest thing/situation and blow it completely out of proportion …may actually be right this one time. That the worst cast scenario just might be true this time. Perhaps, its understanding or at least coming to the crushing reality, that the one time you truly need someone on your side to tell you “it’s gonna be alright.”, that one time, you want to cash in on that good karma that you have shown to everyone else and have them reciprocate it back to you; you realize it’s not gonna happen.You come to realize that “quid pro quo” doesn’t work unless you get it in writing. That unfortunately, this curve ball is something you cannot avoid, and must face on your own.
But don’t despair, for it’s when a person is pushed up against a wall with only one way out, that they find their inner strength. You don’t realize how strong you really are until you only have yourself to rely on. As self-centered as it sounds, at the end of the day, YOU have to be your biggest fan, only you know about crap you have gone through and what you had to do to survive, what you did to make it here to today. Doesn’t really matter if no one else sees it. As long as you do. So, do yourself a favor, every once in awhile…take a break from the daily grind. And give yourself pat on the back and much needed break, doesn’t matter what you do or where you go specifically, as long as your treating yourself. We all get so caught up in the day to day, and searching for affirmation and compliments from others, that we forget to give that to ourselves. So, if you’re still procrastinating, that’s fine, but just remember that procrastination has a time limit on it as well. So I hope you’re occasionally thinking about the answer you need to get to before that “final moment” a.k.a decision time comes. Denial, can be a nice place to be. But just like some many other things in life, you cannot stay there. Not if you want to grow as a person or move forward. Although, the past can be quite enticing, try not to dwell there too long, you just might end up on missing out on an epic future if you do
And in other news, do to my own procrastination, I’ve been having some tooth problems-I need to get two of them pulled. I had lost my information packet (that the new hires get) so I couldn’t remember the website I had to go to, to print out my dental card (the insurance places doesn’t send them out anymore, I have to print from online) So I have been waiting since September to deal with my tooth problem (actually, it was longer but I was unemployed back in February 2015 till September) my toothache problem has just gotten worse! to the point where it is affecting my sleep, and me eating. I never did find that damn packet- it’s a big green book, you’d think it would stand out…but no… So I went on my employee portal website and I saw the name of the dental insurance, and from there I did a google search and was able to find my insurance card and information. And find a local dentist who is literally right down the street! So all I have to do is make an appointment with them and see if I can get in on Thursday. I also looked up my vision insurance information – that took a little bit more searching but sure enough I found my card and information and i’m like “Yay, I can finally get new contacts. I want to try, green and violet color contacts. Last time I got Honey, Grey and regular.With insurance this time I won’t have to pay half a grand or to be specific $508.39.
I know people tend to do resolutions. I had this silly idea in my head, I’m gonna wish real hard , and hope I win the lottery and from there I would finally take care of my health. Money really was the big factor as to why I waited so long to deal with my health. If you follow me, then you know from previous post, my health isn’t that great. If i’m honest with myself coming into instant wealth , although would have been AWESOME, it’s not realistic. So I decided to emulate the things I do really want (from my financially secure rich-girl fantasy) starting with *drum roll* my health. My goal this year is to get healthy, get those two teeth pulled I haven’t chewed using both sides of my mouth in like almost ten years. July, is coming up so hopefully the neurologist can help me with my memory/ migraine. And I would like to see a dermatologist to help get rid of these dark spots. I figure instead of tying to be happy with material things i’m probably never gonna get, I think I will give self-maintenance a try. I figure if I truly feel good about myself, hopefully, that will open up a flood gate of good things to come my way.
On a completely other note, I’m looking forward to fall, I miss dressing in layers, the leaves changing colors and i’m not one who can handle “HOT” weather. Also, the rose bush in front of my house that produce these beautiful roses that start off yellow and turn pink as it gets to the top of the petal finally came back to life, in 2014 some asshole stomped on the bush and tore off the roses, my guess they got their heart broken and didn’t want to see beautiful flower minding it’s own business, and last year these tiny green bugs were all over it so no flowers came. But this year, the bush is back and vibrant and is producing this deep pink-isk red roses! It looks gorgeous!