Hello everyone and welcome back once more. I am proud to say I am roughly near the end of my book. Which will be my first longest fictional writing piece of my life. I am really proud about how far I have come. This is a piece I do plan on entering into a contest. Even if I don’t win; I know I most likely will end up competing with really strong writers who may have years of experience and writing degrees under the belt. It’s okay, I am just proud of myself and how far I have come. I always told myself; the main reason why I write short stories is because I just don’t have it in me to write long pieces of work (I truly felt as though I just physically…couldn’t write a novel). I just honestly didn’t feel as though I had enough material to write a novel (I am literally 11,890 words shy of a novel). That, and I didn’t want to write a boring novel. I wanted to write something that is an easy read; gets to the point, and most importantly, the characters and story line are interesting enough to keep the reader engaged. I didn’t want to put in side stories within the story and have my reader think, “okay, where the hell is she going with this?” I really am proud of myself; more importantly, I am proud that I proved myself wrong. I kept focusing on why I couldn’t write a novel. Instead of focusing on reasons why I can. When I write a story, I don’t do it with a word count in mind. When the story is finished…it’s finished. Some stories only require a few pages; a quick light read. And some stories, take longer, but they are worth the time and effort.
Moving on to to other news, we know the first week of January of this year; I got hit by a car waiting to cross the street. Well yesterday, I went out to Wal-mart again, and I almost got hit by a car trying to get to a parking spot. It was around 1:34pm, You know how cars like to drive through the parking lot spaces? well, there isn’t anything wrong with that. But , for some odd reason yesterday; all the cars were in a hurry to get somewhere the lot was half packed. I don’t know why people were in such a rush especially, with some many cars and people around. Everyone knows if you must drive there parking spaces, you have to go slow. because you don’t have the right away when crossing between lanes, and that you can easily hit another car or person. So the car ends up missing me and I get into my spot. So I get out the car and I walk about two parking spaces and was literally about five feet from a car crash that almost happened right in front of me. And elderly couple was coming out of their space they were in mid turn. And this other car comes up the lane full speed not paying attention and almost hit the elderly couple head first! Thursday on the way home from work, I am trying to get into the median to make a left turn, I was getting into the median, this school bus comes out of nowhere full speed and almost takes out my left side. I know he saw me before he decided to come flying through.
And finally, the topic of this post. So the big 2-9 is coming up in a few months, I already took time off work months in advance. We all know the last few birthdays have been shitty at best. And that really is putting it mildly. I had planned on going to Montreal last year. I was like, “well wouldn’t it be nice to go this year.” I had planned on going to get my passport on the Fifteenth of February, which hopefully I would have it in time for my birthday. My mother yet again, invited herself on the trip. I thought to myself, “I don’t know why she invites herself on these trips it involves walking; and she hates walking.” Imagine, trying to enjoy yourself while someone complains about every single thing. My mom decided she wants a new car; Okay, nothing wrong with that. Her: “I think we are going to need to cancel the Canada trip. How upset would you be if we couldn’t go to Canada? Once I get the car, there won’t be enough for the hotel and your aunt says, its very cold in March. We may need to push it back to April or May.”
I’m still confused on how my birthday has to get cancelled just because she can’t go. It annoys me to avail. I understand she is going to buy a car with her money. But what does that have to do with me going on a trip with my money? And I don’t want to go on a fucking trip in April or May. Why is it such a hard concept that I would want to celebrate my birthday on my actually birthday! My birthday only comes once a year, literally there is 364 days to get one’s shit together for my birthday. I don’t understand why issues have to pop up during my birthday. Everyone Else’s birthday; there isn’t a problem. But my birthday has to be the most “inconvenient time of the year.”- Her words, not mine, growing up. For the last six years my birthdays have been shitty! there is no cake, no happy birthday song, no present, no special dinner, no flowers. All that shit I had to buy for myself! Do you know or realize how hurtful that is when your own family makes that day feel insignificant? I get it, birthdays after awhile don’t mean much to certain people. But it means a lot to me. I don’t want another birthday, where I am alone at home, I had to buy my own cake or donuts and the only light in the room is from the musical birthday candle for that is the only way I will have someone sing me happy birthday, like last year. Or the year before, all that driving to D.C to only be able to walk around for two fucking hours because mother could find the hope diamond. She complained the whole entire time and took over the trip as if the whole entire trip was about her. It wasn’t her day, yet she acted like it was. The year before that, she ruined the ballet for me. She had to complain about the performers, complain about the ticket cost, and parking. And I was the one who paid for all of it. I think this year would be a great year if I don’t have her with me. That way, for once the spotlight can be on me for a chance.
And I always go out of my way to make everyone feel special on their birthday, everyone deserves to be acknowledge on their birthday! I don’t think I am asking too much to feel like a fucking rock-star on my day. I don’t want any stress or any problems. All I want is twenty-four hours; where am the star of the show. Where my feelings are validated. If I want to go to a restaurant; we go to a restaurant. If I want to watch a movie; we watch the movie, without complaining about my choice or the price of the ticket. I want to go some place I have never been before, I go. I still plan on getting my passport and I do plan on taking myself, somewhere. I fucking deserve it. I don’t know where I will take myself but one thing is for sure I want to be out of state. I want to honestly enjoy myself. Unfortunately, I have a lot of friends that are married, engaged and have kids. So they can’t just up and go…a lot of my friends have either just recently, or are currently on vacation so I don’t think they would have the free time anyway. So for my birthday, I will be solo…as usual. This is my last year in my twenties, and I personally, would love to have an epic time. I think I have been through enough hardships and fucking curve balls; their emotional scars will last a lifetime. I want to have fun now, I want to enjoy the moment instead of hoping the moment will end and stop hurting me. I want to enjoy myself and all the new moments that are coming, instead of being surrounded by negativity and bad energy.
Which brings me to a question I have for all of you; I know all of you are coming from various parts of the I would like to know is there any state you would recommend that I visit? I have already been to New York, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Arkansas.