Hello everyone and welcome back once again.
Okay, let’s get to it. Today started off with me having mixed emotions. It’s that “yay, it’s pay day but oh, no. I got a lot of bills to pay.” It didn’t help that yesterday bro was trying to hit me up hard for cash for the cable bill. Which is understandable except I received a letter from my old college saying I have an outstanding balance of $124 (still not sure where that came from if I have been paying on the account- I would assume that would have popped up sooner). And there is my phone bill which AT&T decided to go up 6 dollars from 72 to 78. But I don’t feel like I’ve gained anything. Halloween is Monday, and I really wanted to celebrate by having themed food. But bro had to walk into the kitchen and totally wreck my happy mood as I am making some thing ahead of time.
. Like my brother saying he doesn’t have money. Yet, almost every day if not every other day he is literally going out to restaurants/fast food buying food. Him and the girlfriend she likes healthy food no additives, he doesn’t care for it, they end up throwing out all that food in the end.She only likes food that’s either baked or boiled. I don’t understand why they both can’t shop for their own food and cook their own food. I don’t understand why there is more food in their house, yet, he feels the need to come down here and take my food. I don’t care if my cooking is better than hers; we hardly have anything down here. It’s not right. I don’t understand why he is so pressed about my phone bill. I like my independence that we are not on the same plan, that and I am not sharing my data with anyone. If you’ve been following my posts for awhile then you will recall about a year ago we were thinking of doing a plan together my mom and brother couldn’t make up their mind, and I frankly got tired of waiting. And I went solo and stuck with AT&T since I had no problem with them in the past. And that is where I am today. I don’t get why he is all up in my cool-aid wondering what i’m doing, and how I could be saving a few bucks. My issue is, even though i would save a few bucks I’d be on a plan with him, meaning I’d have him all up in my business and he is not not worth the cost of saving! I am watching him and clearly his life is going a hell of a lot better than mine. So I don’t understand why he is under this weird delusion that I got my shit together and i’m doing better than he is. Physically, my health sucks, my finances are nowhere nears his; he is bringing in around a grand a month, Mentally and emotionally i’m wreck and trying to stay positive.
Just because I don’t complain every single day, or get all up in my feelings every 5 minutes doesn’t doesn’t mean the grass is greener on my side. I don’t care what’s going on in his life, or anyone else’, i’m just trying to get my stuff together one day at a time. Surprisingly, my horoscope has been saying “Don’t even worry about anyone else , or their opinion, just worry about you, your self-care. Take care of you first.” And that’s what I’m doing.