All I really want to do is leave. I’m over this life, I’m over this house, job, obligations, and annoyances. I just want to be able to leave and not have to worry about debt. Seriously, that is only thing keeping me here. If my debt could just “vanish” I would so leave this boring ass place and go do something else.
But because we live in a mess up economy, with a horrible job market—I don’t care what anyone says it’s not as simple as “quitting your job if you don’t like it.” I’ve been unemployed and I can honestly say, the market out there is horrible. It’s either, “you don’t have enough experience and we don’t want to waste our time training you.” Or it’s “You have too much experience, and we don’t want to compensate you for that.” The government thinks their doing “you” a favor by hardly giving you anything for unemployment and expecting you to survive on this. Keep in mind they give you half the commission you were making from your old job and then they take out fifteen percent on top of that.
It’s not much that asked for, I want freedom from everything. I want wake up in a real nice big comfy bed. In my own place that’s paid for by me (Because I got it like that.) And know there is no place in the world, I “have” to be. I am under no obligations to anyone. As long as my bills are paid (And they would be, You’d be surprised how quickly I would credit all my utility bills up for at least two years- I like to give myself leeway), there would be no problems. I long for the day where I can just hop online pick a destination and leave either that day or the next morning and it’s no problem. I would seriously love that life. There is nothing keeping me in one place, thus, I’d stay constantly on the move.
I’m twenty-seven and I am not a happy person. I should be excited about life. I’m young, I have no kids, I’m not in a relationship. I should be more ecstatic about life. Waking up should be a blessing. But I don’t feel that way. I feel tried, emotionally, and physically. Sad part is; I’m not alone in my feelings, I know there are plenty of other young people such as myself, who are over their existence as well. It’s like “Live”, and I’m like “okay, but for who?” It can’t be for me, because I am over all of this. I’m starting to get the feeling my existence is about “working to earn money, to pay bills.” I just want to be free. I just to be alone, to be left alone with my own thoughts and feelings without someone wanted something from me.