My aunt decided to come over for a visit now that she was back from her cruise vacation. While I was there in the kitchen with her and my mother she decided to ask me about my life plans:
Her:..are you ever going to go back to college, you’ve been out for awhile.
Me: With the way my student loans are; right now I need to focus on getting those down.
Her: YOU MEAN STILL HAVEN’T PAID THOSE OFF YET?!”
*At this point I am giving her a death stare; I just want to yell at her “Have you not been watching the news; or social media sites. I graduated three years ago and have only manage to pay off one loan so far. Doesn’t help I just recently got another job. I have been out of work for six months Because unemployment pays so little I could do a little here and there!” *upon noticing the look I’m giving her she replies:
“….oh….guess not. well, how’s your job? what are you hours 9-5?.”
Me: No I work 10-2 I’m part time.
Her:….oh 10-2 so you’re only part time…mmm…
Me: I don’t make that much money; I’m paid bi-weekly.
Her: oh you only get paid bi-weekly…..oh….*tisk tisk tisk*….the system sucks doesn’t it; they really got ya by the balls.”
While Internally I’m thinking “I was finally somewhat okay with my prospects (just because i’m not where I want to be now; doesn’t mean I won’t get there); but now that you’ve depressed me and made me feel even more like a failure at life. I wish you would leave. You have severely overstayed your welcome. Shall we go down a list of things in life YOU DIDN’T ACCOMPLISH by your age!“
But instead I just smile and do that “well, that’s life chuckle.”
Seriously, I don’t understand relatives who feel the need to ask about people’s lives (or rather what they are not doing with their lives). I felt like it was a personal attack on my life goals. It was one of those moments where what I really wanted to say was “um…who the fuck are you again, who are you to come and rain on my parade?“ Every time we meet she keeps bringing up Grad School. I get it I’m a loser; I get it. It’s not like I’m not there because I don’t want to be there. I’m choosing to do the responsible route and take care of the bills I have now first; I can barely handle them, it wouldn’t make sense to try to get into more debt. Before I take care of debt I have now. There’s that part of me that’s like “just chill, she doesn’t know my plight in life; or the emotional turmoil I go through each day. ” But there is also that part of me that’s like “Because she doesn’t know she shouldn’t be reckless with her nosey ass questions”. Her questions really hurt; especially because of the judging tone that came with it. It’s that “this is all you accomplished?….really?” tone that she was using. I’m angry at the insinuation that with the money I made or am making I shouldn’t be in debt. It’s like if she knew how much bullshit I had to endure for $8.75 an hour as sales associate. Or the crap I go through now as an office assistant. Are they the hardest jobs in the world…”no” but there are a lot of components that go into it and sometimes it feels like the amount of money being paid to me is not adequate to the amount of work comes with that job title. And sometimes more often than not it’s a thankless job. Like finding that missing file; or looking up that doctor when you have little information to go on or heaven forbid the doctor switches clinics. Or picking up those heavy ass boxes in the back room. Or keeping up with those keys to file room; who the hell want to steal a fucking audiology file…seriously who? I hate being paid bi-weekly. I hate that after I finish paying off my bills, there is little to no money left for me, it’s like literally a couple of dollars. She doesn’t see the psychological turmoil I am under….All she sees is that I said I would go back… that I wanted to go back and I’m just not there yet. There goes one more damn stab to my self-esteem.
Some of the rudest people you will meet in your life are in fact your family members. I wish people would think before they speak. If a person isn’t where they said they would be life; there might be a situation going on. If that person doesn’t bring it up, it’s probably better not to ask.