Hey Everyone!!!
I trust you have all been well and that you have had a fabulous weekend. I slept through most of mine so I don’t really remember my weekend.
I am proud to say that last week, I did pay off one of my student loans. I can almost see the finish line; as I did a check of my other student loans and I do see a bit of a big different as it is finally registering they are dwindling down. It’s like the Finish line is about fifty miles ahead and over a mountain – and I am traveling by foot. But becoming closer every week to crossing that line.. I know by now you must be tried of this one particular topic, but if I didn’t bring it up it wouldn’t be a real “recap” ….the topic is my penpal …”Rafe” Now last time I said that he had instant messaged me, and got all dramatic about how he’s “leaving” but at that point i’m like mentally “Weren’t you suppose to be gone already?/ FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE AND CRACKERS DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE LEAVING….DON’T GET MELODRAMATIC ABOUT IT….JUST…LEAVE!” Then he tried to flip the script around to make it seem like I was the one in the wrong, and he was leaving because I stopped caring.Then he flipped it again and went on about how he’s a dick who doesn’t deserve friends….But upon noticing I wasn’t correcting him he tried to do the whole “emotional guilt trip” but by then my f*cks were gone, so I really didn’t care nor did I engage in where this conversation was heading. So instead of dragging out that conversation because let’s face it at that point I was like “” I said “okay, wished him lucked” and ended the conversation. It wasn’t even a full twenty-four hours later, that he instant messaged me with “Ello” I didn’t respond. Then a couple of hours later it was “I guess i’m that guy that annoys you, so after day I’m gone” and i’m thinking “weren’t you suppose to be gone a week ago.” then hours later he instant messages me with “Recie, I will always love you…” (I’m thinking what type of Whitney Houston crap is this…) “Just for helping me.” and then he went “away” or at least stop instant messaging me. His Facebook is still active so I figure he’s around somewhere. I am definitely at that point where the relationship is over, and I see no point either of us needing to talk again. I chose not to respond to any of his messages. Have you ever been in a relationship where the more you talk to that one person after the friendship has been damaged, The more tainted the memory of that person becomes? I chose not to speak to speak to him because I want to remember him, as that friend overseas that I loved talking too, the guy with a wiry sense of humor that could put a smile on my face when I felt blue. The guy who could hold a decent conversation – where he didn’t focus solely on the negative crap that happen to him or wallowing in his own self-pity about a situation he clearly played a role in his own unhappiness but chooses to blame others instead. The guy who wasn’t addicted to drugs and alcohol-or at least if he was; he didn’t feel the need to constantly brag about it or bring it up. The guy who had hopes and dreams, who didn’t have that whole “F*ck the world, I’ll show it whose boss by just giving up by not aspiring to be anything but a person who can always find booze, or by telling others they should give up on their dreams because they’ll never get where they want to be.” He did say that if he ever got a chance to come to LA he would find out where the aspiring actors hang out and let them all know they are in fact wasting their time. I did warn him if he tried to crush other people’s dream more often than not, he’s gonna roll up on the wrong person and get his ass kicked. I would rather remember him as that nice guy rather than a pathetic loser (or at least that’s the imagine he kept trying to portray to me in the end.)
In other news…I was talking to my friend yesterday and she’s like “my friend Jeremy wants me to go to the bar with him but i’m scared. I’m scared to let someone close again even taking me on a date thing like that” Keep in mind she had just recently broke up with her live in fiancee and their kids after being in a not so happy relationship. Mind you, she hasn’t been single for even a Month and half. she said she wanted to be single and focus on herself . (Not really believing that since I know for a fact she is NOT that type that likes to be single, she HAS to have a guy in her life-I tend to have a lot of friends like that….Now that I mention it, I think i’m the only one of my group who LIKES being single. She’s always telling me I need to get a boyfriend…”You’re such a good person, you’re pretty…you’re funny…” Me:” This I agree with . Her: “You need a boyfriend.” Me: between my friend constantly pushing the idea I need someone and my mom planning my wedding to a guy who doesn’t even exist yet, it’s no wonder I haven’t even screamed. But instead I simply roll my eyes and hop on tumblr. I suppose I understand my friend she has kids so her perhaps having a partner is more of a necessity for that financial, emotional and family stability. But since I’m not in that boat I don’t really need all that, so in my case I can be leisurely about my approach.) Any who, back to the story : so she mentioned “Jeremy” which set off alarms in my mind and I’m like “It’s not the same Jeremy we went to Friendly’s with is it?” Her: Tallish blonde goofy? Me: “He wears glasses or at least he use to. Used to date Jass (keep in mind that wasn’t until she hit on him at Prom thus causing Jeremy to dump Jass right after prom, that was such a sad sight to see Jass with really puffy eyes crying in front of the second floor window- that’s the Tea on that) Her:yes, He’s been trying to get me forever!
- Drive yourself to date-so if it ends up not going the way you want you can leave whenever you ready to go.
- In case you didn’t drive yourself; always make sure to have some cash on you for public transportation. I did ask Mel, if she was going to take a Cab, but apparently she didn’t have any cash on her for transportation.
- Let someone know where you’re going, and always have that one person you know you can call who will come and get you.
- Be honest and upfront before you go on the “date” especially if the history you have with the person is similar to Mel’s, so the other person does not get the wrong impression. True, the other person could still get the wrong impression, even if you tell them upfront “this is just drinks, nothing more.” However, If you have precautions in place and it does go south you can easily leave.
- This should go without saying, but don’t be a tease; don’t lead people on if you have no intention of following through. My friend does have a history of being a tease (but that does not mean what Jeremy did was right. The situation could have been handled a lot better. He should have simply took her home and before she got out the car tell something along the lines “in the future let’s just NOT anymore/ you and me, I’m going to entertain it anymore.” But hey. you live and you learn and you move on.
Hopefully, she won’t mess with Jeremy anymore. I did offer her this one piece of advice “There’s a reason why he didn’t make it to your future, Trust me, there is no hidden gem to be found in the past. Just the same old tattered book but with a different cover. You will find a gem someday but it won’t be in the past but rather in the present, you’ll probably find it when you’re not looking, but while you are trying something new.”